By Rachel Williams, NACAC Communications

COLUMBUS, OHIO, Sept. 18, 2025 – In a joyful moment years ago, Brené Brown remembers watching her daughter hop into her senior prom date's truck as he held the door open for her. Brown remembers saying to herself, "I'm so grateful I get to be here for this moment. I'm so grateful I got to go dress shopping with her. I'm so grateful her date is kind and respectful," and more thankful thoughts of the sort.  

But at the same time, she was trying to keep a nervous thought at bay: "What if they get in a car accident?"  

Practicing gratitude in moments of joy is a strategic practice Brown shared with more than 6,100 attendees at the opening main stage keynote address of NACAC Conference 2025. Brown is a renowned researcher and best-selling author whose work explores vulnerability and courage. She spends most of her time working in organizations around the world, helping to develop braver leaders and more courageous cultures.  

In the research described in Strong Ground, her new book that was given to everyone in the audience, she was surprised to learn that the only variable that predicted the ability for some people to lean into joy is how they respond to it.  

"When we feel joy, real joy, we get a quiver. Some people use that quiver as an alarm to start dress rehearsing tragedy, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but some people use that quiver as a reminder to be grateful and to practice gratitude for that moment." 

Brown added, "Of all the human emotions, joy is the most vulnerable," because to feel joy and love is to risk loss.  

But as she spoke to college admission counseling professionals — most of whom are feeling the weight of working in one of the most challenging and tumultuous times in the profession's history — she reminded the audience that it's critical to keep feeling joy. 

"If we don't have joy, we don't have meaning. And if we don't have meaning, we don't have fight in us," she said.  

Attendees had an opportunity to submit questions for Brown in advance of the main stage. They asked how to avoid burnout, stress, and anxiety when so much of their jobs as educators requires holding space for other people's emotions. Brown explained to the crowd that there's an important distinction between cognitive empathy and affective empathy. Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand how someone is feeling and being able to reflect it back without ever holding that emotion yourself. Affective empathy, she said, is the practice of taking on other people's emotions.  

"Affective empathy is dangerous," Brown said. "Feeling what other people feel is one of the primary drivers of burnout. We need to get to a place where if you come into my office with your child and I see that you're emotionally dysregulated, I think my job has to be to say, 'I understand this is an emotional process. We're going to have to do some very deep and smart thinking together, and while emotions are a part of who we are, they're running the show right now and they're going to get in the way of the work. What needs to be true for us to be able to meet when our emotions are in check so we can serve your child?'" 

She emphasized: It's everyone's job to regulate their own emotions and developing emotional self-awareness is especially important for those in leadership roles. Brown also said that leaders need to get comfortable with paradoxical thinking.  

"Two seemingly opposite things can be true, and our neurobiological need for certainty, to resolve conflict, and to not want to hold the tension of paradox is really dangerous. It's a skill, and you've got to get really strong, mentally and cognitively," she said, because paradoxical thinking is going to play a powerful and necessary role in leadership moving forward. 

She said one of the most prominent paradoxes today is the simultaneous presence of joy and resistance. In our culture right now, whether it's political, organizational, or tough things happening in communities, the ability to hold on to joy and love through challenging times has never been more important.  

Brown added: "We desperately need you right now," she said to the NACAC Conference 2025 crowd. "Where you're going to find your strong ground is really with each other."